On my way down the drivway to take out the trash. I saw a racoon. running up until it spotted me and then hid. heard more rustling in the brush and decided to investigate. I found an alligator snapping turtle. the thing had huge claws and and it's tail looked like godzilla's. It felt like a good idea to poke at it. Thank god i have reflexes like a cat. Cuz the fucker almost bit off my hand!

NOTE: when fucking around with snapping turtles. the can extend their necks at you like a snake. at most i would guess 2 feet.

all while just walking down my drive way.